YuzuxRin Think different
by Myojo-s-me
Summary: I am doing this for the 30kisses challenge on livejournal. Main Pairing: Yuzu KurosakixRin Tsubokura, other pairings: Karin KurosakixToushirou Hitsugaya
1. Something on the line

Title: Something missing...  
Author/Artist: myojo-s-me  
Pairing: Kurosaki Yuzu x Tsubokura Rin  
Fandom: Bleach  
Theme: Kaerimichi/ The road home #20  
Disclaimer: Neither Yuzu nor Rin belongs to me. If thy did, they would appear in the series much more often.

Note: Rin is the little boy with the palm-shaped hairstyle from the 12th squad, Yuzu Ichigos little sister

"You can't go there with me!" He shook his head, looking kind of confused. "I've said before, that it just isn't..."

"See, I don't want you to get into trouble, either. But... I'd really like to meet your parents by now, you know?" Her eyes, brown like the trees arpund them, seemed to i beg /i him to take her with him. But...

"I... I'm really sorry..." He pressed his fingertips together, not knowing what to do. How to explain her, thet it wan't just the fact that he would be in trouble, but rather the fact that she just couldn't pass the way that led him home safely? Whereas... her brother had managed it... But Ichigo had been a shinigami by then... And those three humans that had been with him that time had had some extraordinary abilities... Not that Yuzu hadn't. But Rin strongly doubted that her stunning candy-making abilities would help her crossing the passage between the real world and the Soul Society. "But..."

Yuzu sighed. "When will I ever meet them?"

Which caused another silence. Rin hadn't yet told her, that there wasn't something like "parents" to him. Of course, he had tried, but... it just hadn't worked out the way it should every time. They had eaten candy instead... Which wasn't the worst thing to do, after all.

So he just kept looking at her, tiptoeing with his fingertips, thinking hardly about how to make her stay here, not knowing what to say.

"Nha, whatever." She laid one hand against his forehead. "Just get home quickly, or the will worry, don't you think?" The girl smiled. "And don't forget to hand the Butterfly's Dictionary to Rikichi-kun."

She tousled his hair. And Rin got, out of a sudden, the feeling that he couldn't just go like that... that something lacked... He drew a little bit nearer. "Yuzu-chan?"

"Yes?" She stopped and withdraw her hand.

That wasn't, what he had wanted her to do, but... "I... uh... I don't know, but I got the feeling that we shouldn't part like this... that something..."  
"Is missing?" The little Kurosaki nodded. "I guess, I feel the same.. but hasn't it always been like this? So why does it feel wrong now?"

"I don't know, but... what could it be?"

Silence.

They stood there in the falling dark, looking at each other, neither of them saying a word. Then, Yuzu slowly drew closer... and Rin did as well, as if there had been some unbearable command.

"I... I guess, it is... " He blushed.

"... " Her cheeks were as red and hot as his, but she as well as him moved forward constanly. "...sharing a kiss?"

Their eyes met, and they silently agreed. If not now, when would there be the right time to do it?


	2. Kiss

MAJOR CHARA DEATH WARNING 

* * *

She remembered all of them. Every kiss they had shared, every time she had kissed him, every time he had kissed her. She wouldn't ever forget a single one of them. All of them had been special, every single time the circumstances, their feelings, just everything had been very distinct from the time before.

Yet, this one was even more special... This one was different from all the others in a very special way. There was something dividing it from all the others. This one was the last, had been the last, and both of them knew it. Always, always there had been a next time, always, always their lips had been parting with the certainty that it wasn't really over, that their bond would exist even without touching. That they would be there for each other, that they wouldn't abandon or let go of their lover. But this time, they would. They had to.

Teardrops fell onto Rin's face, fell in his still widely opened, blind eyes, when Yuzu pressed her lips on his forehead a last time. When she felt his body cooling down, him fading away. His soul wasn't lost, she knew. It would be reborn, somewhere. But it wouldn't be Rin, it would be someone else, different in knowledge, character, maybe even race and gender. Even if she would look for that soul, even if she eventually found it: She couldn't get him back.

She cried, cried over the years this all-over, senseless, cruel war had stolen from them, cried over the cruelty in which it had happened. Cried quietly, calmly.

While around them still war was waged; while people were still fighting, yelling, cursing, shouting; while they still hurt others and were hurt; while they stillkilled and got killed; while the sun still was vanishing behind monstrous Ban-Kais and the dust of the battle; while their friends were still struggling to keep the Arrancar out of the gates leading to the Soul Society; while all that blood still was spilled, she held her boyfriend in her arms, protecting both of them with a rather small, defensive shield. Held him, embraced him, as if she tried to warm him up, to bring him back to life. Her sweater was stained with blood, as were her hands, as was her face. Not only Rins blood, also her own, also that of others she had been helping during the last days.

But it hadn't been enough. She wasn't strong enough, not strong at all. Even if she had received special training, even if people had hoped her to become much, much stronger than she was at the moment... She would have needed this strength, which she strongly doubted to be ever able to achieve, now, not one day in the future.

Why couldn't she develop this godlike abilities Orihime had? Why was her bit of this abilities not enough to rescue the one person she had actually trained them for? She had wanted to become stronger to not be always left behind; she had wanted to be together with, be be of actual i use /i to Rin; so she had. But it just still wasn't enough . So Rin had died...

Slowly, she tightened her grip for a last time, then she let go of the corpse, standing up. Tired, having neither really slept nor rested for too long, she blinked, tried to concentrate on the battle around them. There was Rikichi, there Hanatarou, taking care of his friend. He could feel Karin somewhere to the left, and, letting her mind float around a little bit, sense her fathers reiatsu as well as Hitsugayas. So they were still alive, and them she could still help. Could still change something. She knew, there was nothing Rin would wanted her less to do than giving in. He would have wanted her to carry on with the things they had begun. To take care of the people important to him instead of himself. That had been his last words, actually. This last words, only followed by whispered, hardly hearable "I... love you... ever did...", had been his last wish. Nothing more than asking her to live up to what they had believed in: That, as long as they remembered their friends that would never return, those friends would not have left. That they would live amongst the survivors, who held still up the principles they had had before the others deaths.

She wouldn't make him die a second time.


	3. No double date

starts with Karin POV, than changes to Yuzu POV (sorry guys)

* * *

It hadn't been a double date from the beginning. That much was certain, and she wasn't upset how things turned out because of that. Totally not.

To start with, none of them were dating. Ok, they went to cinema and karaoke with a boy each, but.. That were just friends. No dating here.

And secondly, it was not „double". Not anymore.

„Ok, ok. So she asked you, if they could come, too?" Slightly raised eyebrows crinkled. "And you just said yes."

"Uhm... I did?" Yuzu looked worried. She should, after all. What...

"Why, out of all the people in those worlds, Momo? Couldn't it be _anyone_ else? I mean..."

"But.. she is a nice girl... And she is a friend of Toushirou anyway, so -"

"Exactly that is the point!" Karin jumped to her feet.

"Karin-chan?" Yuzus eyes had widened, she gave her sister a confused glance. "What about her? Did she do anything to you?" The brown haired girl seemed to worry strongly. "Shall I call her and ask her not to come?" She reached out for the cellphone she used to stay in touch with Rin (which meant mainly, telling him about Sweets she had found or made), but Karin grabbed her arm, before she could get the phone and shook her head. "No... no, I'm sorry.. But... Why does she want to come, in the first place?"

"I don't know" Yuzu smiled. "Maybe..."

The phone rang and ended their little discussion. Yuzu looked down at it.

"It's Rin! ... Yes? ...Oh... ok... So it's Hanatarou and Rikichi? We're meeting by seven then, you know?... Yeah, because Hinamori joined us, too... ... No, no idea. Maybe she wanted to see this world? ... Of course! Lots of cake, don't you worry... Uh, then you should go back to work, you know how he gets, you've told me about it before... See you!"

The blank expression of her sisters' made her laugh. It was a rare sight. "So isn't that nice? Momo can be with Hanatarou and Rikichi, and you can take your time with Toushirou..."

"Hey! That... We ain't dating or something! It's just some going to the movies, you know that! So we don't need to - "

"But you do stick together.. as well do I and Rin. So it should be ok, nah?"

Karin grumbled and took her school bag. "We have to go... But really. That was supposed to be just the four of us. And it has nothing to do with dating." And so on...

Yuzu put the leftovers in the refrigerator and then switched the lights off. But before she followed her sister, she raised her fingers to her forehead and laid them down in the middle of it. Right here... She still could sense the warmth of Rin's lips, when he had said goodbye the last time. It had been really, really short, but...

Sunday was definitely going to be fun.


	4. After war

I am sorry, ther again comes a rather sad chapter (not as bad as the last one, though). There will be fluff in the next chapter, I promise.

Warning: MENTIONED CHARA DEATH

* * *

The hadn't talked to each other for a long time now. Far too long, maybe. Ever since this certain day in the middle of the winter war. They should have, as they shared the same sadness... But they hadn't. It made everything harder.

Hitsugaya was reminded by the face, the voice... just all those similarities they shared, just because they were twins.

Yuzu couldn't afford to see his haori, covering a black shinigami suit. There was no problem about ordinary shinigami, but all those from the 12th, and also all captains, just made her remember. She didn't want to.

Not that they hadn't met. They had, an a regular basis, every year in late spring. Every annyversary of Karins death they had met at the family grave of the Kurosaki clan... Yuzu came here more often than that, though. Five times a year. She had decided to "bury" Rin here, too, as there was no place where the shinigami buried theirlikes, and she never had managed to go to Soul Society easily. And because she didn't want to go there.

But now there it was.

Toshirou had adressed her, looking at her with disapproval.

She gave him a long, sad look, then shook her head. "Why not?"

"It seems as if you had forgotten about him! As if..."

Pressing the baby closer to her chest, she shook her head. "No, it's not about that... It's rather the fact, that he would have wanted me to do so."

"How could he?" He couldn't get it. Those two had seemed so close, so loving... He wasn't able to understand how Yuzu could have another mans baby and yet tell him, that it would have been her deceased lovers will?

"Rin was a very reasonable, understanding and kind person. He wouldn't have wanted me to be sad all my live... and he knew that I always wanted to have children far too well."

"You had -" Hitsugaya bite his lip. That would have been something he shouldn't have said.

"Yes, I had." She bend her head forward, the hair covering her face, as how to look at the boychild in her arms. But it wasn't that, he was sure. It was about the sixth grave, the only one that wasn't here... That was nowhere. Not in this world. Not in the Soul Society. And, most likely, it wasn't there in Hueco Mundo either, not anymore. Nameless child...

"Sorry."

"It's ok." She flustered, kissing her child on the forhead, then raising her eyes to the sky above them. "I can get along with it now... It took me a long time, but now it is ok..."

He followed her, turning his eyes to the clouds drifting above them. How could she? She had lost so much more than him... Not only her lover, also all of her family. Every single human (and shinigami) who had been close to her had died during the winter war. At least Matsumoto was still alive... Maybe humans had to be faster at overcoming their sadness than shinigami, because their live was so much shorter.

"But how about you?"

He blinked. "Me?"

"Don't you think, you should try to come out of your shell? Just for Karin-chan?"

"For her?" This confused him. He should forget Karin, for Karins sake?

"Yes. She wouldn't have wanted you to be alone all your life, you know? She would have wanted you to be lucky..."

He wanted to growl, then smacked himself mentally. Maybe...

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Yuzu laughed, quietly, sadly. "She definitely would. Do you think it is easy to keep going for me? Actually it isn't... But I have to. Rin-kun would have wanted me to."

They fell silent. But they didn't go, either. They just stood there in the falling twilight, looking over the rooftops of Karakura Town, watching the sun go down in the far west. And when it was, they parted.

But they knew, thy woul meet again, eventually.

Next year, same place, same time.


	5. Looking for

"Yuzu!" 

"No!"

"Please..." He run after her, trying to grab her arm, but she fastened her pace in response. "Yuzu! Please stop!"

"I won't stop until I've found her! Just accept it!"

"But..." Rin sighed. "It is totally useless. Do you have any idea how large the Rukongai is? You won't be able to find a single soul without even knowing the district! And even if you knew, it would be highly unlikely to come across her!"

"She's my sister, and I promised her to find her if she died. To go to Soul Society and look for her and to not stop before I would have found her." She stubbornly stumped forward, ignoring all of his objections. "And I won't break this promise. AND you don't have to follow me, if you don't like."

Rin halted, confused to have been snubbed by her. That just wasn't her, totally not. She might have gone lightly mad after her sisters precipitate death, but to yell at someone... It sounded more like her brother. And he surely wouldn't have fallen in love with someone like him. Whom he had sworn to protect no matter what with all the strength he had (even if that wasn't much). Which was the only actual reason why he was following her now. Rukongai was dangerous, much more dangerous than the human girl possibly could imagine. He couldn't just leave her alone... Even if she wished to... But what to do if she didn't wanted him to come with her anymore?

Yuzu walked some more steps, then stopped as well, turning toward him, hands hold out, smiling. Waiting for him to close the gap.

"But I'd love you to."


	6. It's hate It's Love

I've been really lazy on this Pairing lately... but now I'm in the mood to write something about them... They really aren't that emo normally, it's just me XD

* * *

She didn't want to listen to it but was drawn to it over and over again; she didn't want to see it but couldn't help but watch it closer than anything she had ever watched. She didn't want to touch it but just had to dive in.

She hated it.

She loved it.

It was the only thing she took notice of. Nothing else was important, nothing else was bothering her, nothing else she was interested in. Nothing else. Really.

Salty, cold water running down her cheeks, blazing a trail through the dust and dirt, soaking her shirt. Mixing with the warm salty water dripping from her eyes. Blending in, washing her tears away.

And she looked at the endlessness of the ocean, smiling again. Endless it indeed seemed; but it wasn't. It wasn't, and so wouldn't be their separation. They would meet again, maybe soon. She had promised to wait for him, to wait until the end of the war, if she had to. She had promised to be there when he would visit her again; and he had promised to come as soon as his duties allowed it.

But that had been half a year before now; and still, she baked fresh cookies every two days. The girls in her class found it very nice that she brought them to school after making the next ones; they loved them, and Yuzu was assured that it weren't her lacking baking skills that kept him away; she would have doubted that anyway. Surely, he just was busy, just as Ichi-nii and Dad. Neither of them had ever told her what they actually did, but it seemed to be important, plus, she was sure that they would tell her if there was a need to. Karin-chan had said so.

One more time, her eyes wandered towards the ocean, scanning the far, far horizon. She smiled, listening to the sound of the waves, digging her fingers into them. Just as surely as the ocean was ever changing and yet always the same, Rin would come to visit her again; just like she hated the never changing, constant sound of the waves and her loneliness of waiting, she loved the deep quietness of the ocean and the hopefulness of waiting, the sureness that whatever happened, they would meet again.

Just like she hated and loved the sea, she hated and loved the fact that they would ever once in a time part and reunite.


	7. Mission Impossible

Word Count: 100

* * *

"I... I can't accept that..." The boy seemed helplessly.

"Why not?" Worried, confused, she gave him a questioning glance. "It's a present. And it isn't that large of an cassette player."

"It isn't, but..." His cheeks were burning by now. He could not, impossibly, tell her the true reason: That they had no electricity back where he came from. He _couldn't_. Yet, he would... had to...

"I... I love it, but..."

She halted. "Don't worry about having no cassettes, I copied some of my favorite ones, three samplers and two with songs by "Kiss"!"

No. He impossibly could.


	8. Guilt

HitsuKarin, YuzuRin, Chara death

* * *

They were different, too different. And while they had lost the very same person, they couldn't visit her grave together.

Neither of them would ever forget Karin, would ever be able to talk about her death freely, would ever lose the feeling of guilt. Guilt to have not been there to save her, guilt to have not been there at all. Pointless guilt. They both knew that, knew that on terms of logic. But their hearts wouldn't accept it.

Wouldn't accept their helplessness.

There were many, many things they shared.

But they felt different, too different.

So very, very different.

Guilt as Hitsugaya felt it was something burning, something that made him go on and hunt Karin's murderers down, something that strengthened Hyourinmaru even more each time the zanpakuto drank blood.

Guilt was something triggering anger, and he welcomed the anger and fed his hatred with it. He fanned it into the inferno of his will to fight, to be amidst of the battle.

Guilt as Yuzu it felt was, however, totally nothing she could bear. Totally nothing she could handle. Totally nothing she could live with.

Guilt had ridden the girl too many years now, too many times. It had hit her when Karin died for the first time, when her sister died on her, when her brother and her sister, when, finally, Rin was killed. She had never been there to help, or, like for Rin, she hadn't been able too, being yet too weak to handle such severe wounds by that time.

Guilt had filled her with a bitterness that was way too strong to bear for a girl like her...

Guilt had separated her from the people fighting by her side.

Guilt had weakened her powers.

Guilt had forced her to leave.


	9. You don't see me

She had never seen him. Never noticed him. Never known that he was there, there and watching her. There and looking after her, caring for her.

He had seen her. The first time they had met, he had bumped into her while hurrying back to Uraharas shop. They had sent him to buy more wheat and eggs, because they had run out of them in their futile try to bake tasty cakes, and he had been distracted handling two large bags filled with ingredients and other stuff Tessai had asked him to bring along, so he had noticed her too late.

She had halted and looked around, slightly confused. Blinked.

He had stepped back slowly, not wanting to make her panic. The boy knew that she couldn't see him, because he wasn't in a Gigai, and he didn't want to use the machine that made him visible again. Especially not to appear out of nowhere, which might just have worsened the situation anyway.

She had moved on eventually, concluding, that it had been her mind that had tricked her.

From this time, he had wanted to know more about her. He wasn't sure why, though. He just had felt his heart sink when she had turned and went away. Some very, very strange feeling had built inside him since then, and he had decided that he needed to know more about it. More about her.

Gathering information hadn't been easy, especially because most reports on her family were utmost secrecy documents, which kind of confused him and made him curious at the same time. But there had been some information he could get, including her name, address and school.

So he had asked for an assignment to the real world as soon as possible. It had been granted, and he had spent every free minute watching her.

Right until the day a soccer ball had nearly kicked him off the bridge he was standing at.

"Hey you." The dark brown haired girl that was Yuzus sister walked towards him.

It took him some moments to realize what that meant. The girl did walk towards _him_, which meant that she was able to _see_ him. Which, in turn, meant, that he had seen him all the time... The conclusion stroke him like the sword of the Sogyoku.

She had seen him following her sister around. He didn't worry about why she was able to see spirits, he was busy with blushing and his mind was reeling. She had seen him, had seen that he was there had noticed him, what was he supposed to do now, what, if Yuzu already knew, what, if-

A annoyed voice cut into his thoughts. "I asked you something. Won't you answer?"

The boy blinked. "Sorry, what?" His expression was totally blank, although his face was still nearly as red as the drowning sun.

"I wanted to know why you are stalking my sister?" Karins eyebrows wrinkled.

"I- I-" He blushed even deeper. "I don't know, I-"

"Hell what?"

He would have wished to sink into the ground. But he couldn't. He could have run, but... he couldn't. "I... I just wanted to see her..."

The girl tilted her head. "See her?"

"Uhm... yes..."

"You're in love with Yuzu or something?"

"Wha-what?" His jar dropped. "No-no, I'm not, I mean, why how I I don't see that I no surely I..."

Karin cut his stammering off. "You so are."

He winced. This face... She was going to kill him...

"God, your expression when you look at her and those eyes that want her to look back at you... Why don't you just get visible and tell her that you love her? You're just an idiot, really." She snorted and whirled around. He could hear her mutter a "Just the same as Toshirou, won't ever do anything unless I initiate it, stupid boys really. ", then she was off and he was standing there alone.

Love? He reconsidered it.

If it was love, it was head over heels. He didn't really know. But... It was an interesting idea.

But before he could investigate further, he had to recover from the shock Karin had inflicted on him by making clear that she could see him. He would get to that other problem afterwards... And he was looking forward to it.


	10. Necessity

„Uh... no?" He twisted the crinkly candy paper between his fingers, eagerly trying to avoid the other boy's eyes. „Is that really... necessary?"

Rikichi sighed and patted his friends head generously.

"Of course it is. It defines a couple."

"But... but..." Rin blushed even deeper, still trying to avert Rikichi's eyes. "But I can impossibly ask her to... you know... it's just..."

"It's totally not. See," a fingertip poked Rin's forehead and made him jump. Finally, he had to lock stare with the taller boy. "if you don't kiss Yuzu, you won't be able to make her yours. Understood?"


	11. Last reminder

Takes place some time after "kiss"

MAJOR CHARA DEATH WARNING, blood, abuse

* * *

She licked her lips. They were bloodstained, just like anything else about her. Just like anything all around her. Just like the whole world was.

Blood. Blood, blood. Blood everywhere, on her lips, on her clothes, on the floor, on the corpse next to her. Kimi had wanted to help her, had wanted to help her so desperately, but she hadn't been able too. Not only that she was already weak because of the wounds she had suffered from their enemies' hands. She had made the futile attempt to heal. To stop something from happening the six Arrancar women wanted to happen.

Kimi hadn't survived. Neither had the unborn child.

Yuzu stifled her sobs and tried to hold herself from crying. The sticky blood between her legs, the small being, too small too live like this, that lay in the puddle. The arrancar's grins. It was too much, yet she wouldn't give them the satisfaction of crying. She wouldn't.

Her voice was sore, just as her body was. Speaking hurt, as all of her hurt, and it was an hard task to even raise her head, yet talk. But she wouldn't keep quiet. How could she?

"Happy now?" The words came flat, even. It sounded just as worn out as she was, and she didn't care at all. What should she have cared for now? There was just nothing left.

Rin was dead. He had died weeks before, had died in the middle of an battle, and she had tried to keep going. Had tried to do what had to been done. Help as much as she could. But then, her father had died as well. He had been trying to protect the two healers, herself and Kimi, but they had been too many. Isshin had been a shinigami captain; they were by four, and two of them were Espada.

They had killed him in front of the girls' eyes. Then, the Espada had turned away and left the two weak, less important enemies' for their fraccion to deal with. The fraccion had been pleased. Playthings.

Of which one was already broken. Or rather, two were broken... Out of three.

And the last thing that could have reminded her of Rin was gone as well.

They had been so happy; had been so happy to have a child, had been so happy about their child being born in times of this, a light of hope into the darkness of war. Of course it would have been hard, but they would have happily coped with every hardness. And then, when her husband had died, she had found relief in the fact that there would be new life born that carried parts of him.

But now it was gone.

Was gone because she had been captured.

Because they had thought it to be funny. To beat her and Kimi up, to drive their feet into her stomach too often too count. Until...

She wouldn't cry.

"Happy now." One of them, the one with the long black hair, grinned mischievously. "Your shinigami bastard is dead."

She gulped. They had known?

"Yeah... And when we will be ready dealing with you, you will have forgotten about the father of it as well." And that moment, Yuzu understood. She understood even before Menoli told her.

"You won't have children. We won't allow you to experience anything that we won't have... But pain."


End file.
